As I sit here in our small two bedroom rented house I am overcome with thankfulness. I am thankful for an Amazing God that cares enough for me to show me the hurt of others. Jay and I are on a fantastic journey coming to a turning point in our lives. I will be graduating May 15th, we are trying to buy a house, we are starting to think about having another baby. All of this change has brought me to my knees with God just praying for him to show me what he wants from me. I want the next part of my life to be lived for Him. I will be the first to admit that it has not always been that with me. I have sinned countless times against Him. I have questioned what he is doing in my life. I have even blamed him for any bad thing that was happening in our life. But I have never just leaned on him and said "Please, just show me."
So now I am praying like never before and He has just broken me. I feel His love, His compassion, His ability to just calm me. I know He has been here through our entire journey and I have never questioned His presence. But I guarantee He has questioned mine.
Now what? What am I going to do with this brokenness? I don't know yet. I know I want to praise him in all things. This house that we are praying for I want Him to be seen throughout it. The child we are raising now I want her to see Him through me. I want to share my love for God with other people. I want to share the wealth that He has given us. I want to stop being so selfish with our money. I don't know what the future holds but I don't want to look back and think we really should have leaned more on God during all that. Trust me there are times in my life where I already think that and I don't want those times to become more prevalent than the times I look back and say "Wow God really knew what he was doing with that situations."
Well, I leave now to enjoy this beautiful day with my wonderful family. I hope your weekend is relaxing as well!
1 comment:
Sound like a breakthrough. I love you guys. You have got the stuff of greatness in you.
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