Kindergarten

My sweet baby girl started Kindergarten today. I just wanted to post a few pictures from her first day.

Mainly because I have no idea really what to say. She is growing up way too fast. I hold Korbyn and I can remember when she was that little and now I just sent her to Kindergarten.

(Jay and Jayci. I had just gotten off work so I did take a picture with her but it was definitely not worthy of posting on the internet. HA)

I know she will do great in school. She loves to learn new things and make new friends. I can’t wait to hear how her first day was!

And now I have to go because looking at these pictures makes me want to start crying again. HA! If you have one starting school or even starting back another year I hope they have a wonderful day and year. Praying for all the students and teachers (and parents) as another school year begins.

~Kristen

Serious Talks

I can imagine as our children grow we will have several serious talks and conversations with them. Some will be light hearted while others will be deep, meaningful and unforgettable. 

I just thought I would share this serious talk between Korbyn and his daddy. It will be one I want to remember…

On another note Korbyn rolled over from tummy to back today for the first time. He did it several times so I’m pretty sure it was intentional. I can’t believe he is growing so fast…Time needs to slow down.

Jayci starts kindergarten 2 weeks from today. I have some mixed emotions about that one…I’m not going to get into those tonight though.

~ Kristen

This to Shall Pass

Edit to Add: I wasn’t going to post this but I feel like I want to be real on my blog. I want to be able to go back and see the different times so I am posting. 

When I originally started to write this post it was going to be this light hearted  post about how cute and sweet my kids are. I mean you can’t deny that little fact. ;)  Now I think it needs to be a little more than that. I just need to let some feelings out there.

Jay is out of town working this week and it has been so hard on me. I am feeling so overwhelmed with him being gone. I can’t imagine being a single mom. Blessings to those that are!

Anyway, see these two faces in the pictures…I live for these two babies. I love them so much. But I’ve been having some mommy guilt recently. More while Jay is gone because I have no time by myself. Sometimes, I just want just a little time to myself. I want something that doesn’t involve kids. Honestly, I kind of want something that doesn’t involve anybody but me!

I am sure if you are a mom then you probably have felt this way. And if you haven’t then well you are a better mom than me. Sometimes I just want 20 minutes to myself. I want to take a bath without hearing a kid scream, a baby cry, or even a husband calling my name. I need something that can be just mine. I am thinking about starting the couch to 5K program. Not because I like running because honestly I hate it! But because I need something that will make me feel good about myself again. 

I can feel myself going into this place where I don’t want to be. I love these kids more than anything and just typing this makes the mommy guilt come flowing. There are parents that would do ANYTHING just to have their babies back in their arms and here I am wanting to get away from mine. I sit here crying and typing and feeling so bad for even thinking about not wanting to be around them for even a few minutes. I shouldn’t take these times for granite but there is always something or someone. There is always laundry to be done, a kitchen to clean, a child touching me. The list could go on…

I don’t know if any of this makes since to anybody but myself. I am just having a bad day today…Tomorrow is a new day.

This too Shall Pass! (At least I pray it does)

~Kristen

Korbyn’s Giggle

I am so excited I actually caught Korbyn’s first giggle on video. It is so sweet (of course I’m just a little bias). Anyway, here it is. You have to excuse the 3 minutes of me saying “a boo” but you know whatever works! Right?!?

We really haven’t been up to anything here. It is so HOT that it is hard to get out and go anywhere. I did go to my first La Leche League meeting tonight and that was kind of fun and interesting. It was nice to meet with other nursing moms and be able to get their advice on different things. 

Oh and here is something new we got today! It is called a baby K’tan and it is fantastic! I have a Moby wrap and it is kind of like that but not all the hassle . I am going to have to play with it more to get all of the holds down but you can see that my little guy liked it pretty well!

Excuse the hair and the look of no make-up. I forgot my mascara this afternoon and I ALWAYS feel like I look like I have no make-up on without mascara. Oh and I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow! I am SO excited. I haven’t decided what I am going to do to it but I’m ready for something different.

Well little man is laying here beside me just smiling away. Looks like his little nap this evening is going to have him awake for a bit. Maybe he will sleep in some tomorrow? Wishful thinking! Even if he did Jayci will probably wake me up. Oh well, the joys of being a mom!

~Kristen

Reality

Korbyn will be 10-weeks-old tomorrow and I think I have finally came to a reality. A reality that is pretty scary to me. The reality I am talking about is post partum depression. With Jayci I was so depressed, sad, and just didn’t feel like I connected with her. It was obvious that I was going through something and I could recognize it.

This time with Korbyn I had 3 days when my milk was coming in that I was so tearful but after that I was fine. I was so happy to be his mommy. Even with the struggles of breastfeeding and the adjustments of going from one child to two I felt happy. I have felt like our family was perfect (for the time) and I didn’t want anything to change with one exception.

That exception would be the anxiety that I have been feeling. The feeling that something is going to happen to my baby. I know most moms worry about their babies but for me it is an extreme. When he first came home I was terrified someone was going to drop him. I would let other people hold him but I constantly worried that that person was going to drop him. I could literally see him falling. And I did think to myself okay this is not normal but it went away after about a month. Then I felt fine for a while. I didn’t really worry overly but I was home with him all the time!

Then I got ready to go back to work. I had knots in my stomach days before I had to go back. Then the day I actually went back I cried most of the day and then all the way to work. Let me just clarify while I am at work the kids are staying with Jay, their DAD! Like what better person to keep them. But still I thought okay if something happens does Jay know what to do? The whole time I am at work I worry that he is going to call and something horrible has happened. I also do not want anyone else watching K besides Jay or I. And the only reason I leave him with Jay is because I have to.

The day K received his 2 month shots I was so nervous. I even split them up so he only received 2 of the 3 shots. That night I was going to a thing at church and I almost didn’t go. All the serious reactions you can have to vaccinations I just knew my baby was going to be the one to have one or all of them. And sure he was a little more fussy but  nothing terrible. I kept my phone right beside me and watched it like a hawk waiting on it to ring.

I just have to say work is the worst because I feel like K is going to get everything that I see plus things that I don’t. I came home on Monday and checked his temperature probably 5 times that day. I sound like a hypochondriac but I don’t actually take him to the doctor and I really only did this for a day. 

I type all of this because I know the reality that this is probably not normal. Sure it’s normal to worry but to this extreme? I can’t decide if it is because there is some post partum stuff going on or just because I know more now than what I did with Jayci. Or maybe it’s a combinations…because I know more, I worry and have anxiety about more. 

Anyway, I just wanted to put my feelings out there. It helps me realize that I could be dealing with something more than regular emotions. I am not quite ready to do anything about it except to acknowledge that it is a reality. I am still rational enough to know that I am being irrational. Okay, I am going to go now and try to clean up some of this house. Hope you all have a good day and weekend if I am not back before then.

~ Kristen

Princess Camp

This week a business near us held a Princess Camp for girls of different ages. Jayci loves princesses and I just thought it would give her something fun to do. They played dress up, did fashion shows, learned about manners, and becoming a well rounded princess. They talked about being honest, kind, and all that other good stuff.  This is why I signed her up for it. Not because she isn’t any of these things but I just think she needs to know that being a princess is not all about just being pretty and having a crown. I want her to have a good heart as she gets older so I was glad that this camp focused on those issues too.

At the end of camp they put on a play about honesty and had a Coronation Ceremony. It was cute. Our local theater is putting on Cinderella this weekend and next so the actual Cinderella was there today to present them with their “princess bracelets” and roses. 

I think she had a really good time.

Jayci and her friend L

A curtsy and getting her candy (aka princess) bracelet

The sweet smile that I love so much from my big girl!

I hope all of you have a really good weekend! 

~Kristen

2-months-old

Korbyn,

   You are 2-months-old. We are so blessed with you in our family. You are growing so much! Some things you are up to:

You are 11lbs 15oz (58 percentile)

You are 23 inches long (55 percentile)

You are starting to smile more and more. It is the sweetest thing. In this picture you are smiling at Jayci. You love her so much and she loves you too!

You really want to suck your thumb. However, I am doing everything I can to stop you. I give you a paci and you take it okay but eventually spit it out. We will see who wins this battle! HA.

You wear 0-3 months clothes and size 1 diapers. However, as you will see below we are going to start using cloth diapers.

You are holding your head up so good.

You are eating about every 3 hours. When you took a bottle this weekend from Daddy you ate 6 ozs!

You are sleeping all night still. You go to bed between 9-10 and wake up anywhere between 5-7 in the morning. Mommy loves this!

You are such a sweet baby. The only times you really cry is when you are hungry or sleepy. You love riding in the car unless you are hungry of course. You are VERY serious about your food!

~ Kristen