Edit to Add: I wasn’t going to post this but I feel like I want to be real on my blog. I want to be able to go back and see the different times so I am posting.
When I originally started to write this post it was going to be this light hearted post about how cute and sweet my kids are. I mean you can’t deny that little fact. ;) Now I think it needs to be a little more than that. I just need to let some feelings out there.
Jay is out of town working this week and it has been so hard on me. I am feeling so overwhelmed with him being gone. I can’t imagine being a single mom. Blessings to those that are!
Anyway, see these two faces in the pictures…I live for these two babies. I love them so much. But I’ve been having some mommy guilt recently. More while Jay is gone because I have no time by myself. Sometimes, I just want just a little time to myself. I want something that doesn’t involve kids. Honestly, I kind of want something that doesn’t involve anybody but me!
I am sure if you are a mom then you probably have felt this way. And if you haven’t then well you are a better mom than me. Sometimes I just want 20 minutes to myself. I want to take a bath without hearing a kid scream, a baby cry, or even a husband calling my name. I need something that can be just mine. I am thinking about starting the couch to 5K program. Not because I like running because honestly I hate it! But because I need something that will make me feel good about myself again.
I can feel myself going into this place where I don’t want to be. I love these kids more than anything and just typing this makes the mommy guilt come flowing. There are parents that would do ANYTHING just to have their babies back in their arms and here I am wanting to get away from mine. I sit here crying and typing and feeling so bad for even thinking about not wanting to be around them for even a few minutes. I shouldn’t take these times for granite but there is always something or someone. There is always laundry to be done, a kitchen to clean, a child touching me. The list could go on…
I don’t know if any of this makes since to anybody but myself. I am just having a bad day today…Tomorrow is a new day.
This too Shall Pass! (At least I pray it does)
~Kristen
5 comments:
Hey girl! I will pray for you, I am feeling the same way. My husband works out of town for months at a time and I am beyond stressed sitting at home with all three of mine. I know how you feel, and it stinks sometimes. ;) Today is def one of those days for me <3 (Hugs!)
((hugs)) Mine is in town but works at night/sleeps during the day 7 days a week. There are days when I cannot even go to the bathroom by myself :) But you're a great mommy it's evident in your love, give yourself a little break and know that those 5 minutes are worth it :)
well I totally agree with doing something for yourself. It wasn't until we moved here that I had to make myself do it and I do it every night if I don't already have something planned. I might just take a bath and watch one hour of my shows with the door locked, work out , or just play on the computer. Joe makes sure I get this time because he knows how much it means to me. With Jay gone you might just have to ask for someone to help you halfway through the week just for you to go walk around the neighborhood or take a bath.
You shouldn't feel guilty at all!! I think everyone needs time to themselves and as a mom I think it makes you a better mom to recognize this. On a side note, those pictures are great and your children are BEAUTIFUL!!
Totally understand! Chris works right now 7 days a week meaning 7 days a week with kids. Loge it but you do some me time even if it's 20 minutes of total silence. Don't feel guilty. We got grandparents to watch them just so chris and I could eat lunch and run errands with no kids.
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